The Art of Spiritual Guidance

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I have been sharing a series with our staff on spiritual formation. At our staff meeting this week, I spoke about spiritual guidance or spiritual direction. This is a lost art in contemporary evangelicalism. The role of pastor can be spiritual direction in a sense. But classically, spiritual guidance happens in a one on one setting. Spiritual direction is not about Biblical information but about heart transformation. I encouraged our staff to both avail themselves to spiritual guidance as a receiver and as a giver. To seek a mentor and to be a mentor. When I got to ‘be a mentor’ time, I shared six simple principles for the art of spiritual guidance. One of our pastors jotted down some notes about it and then forwarded it to me. So here they are. Obviously this is not exhaustive by any means but it is practical and helpful. Definitely not the final word on the subject but some important ideas just the same.

1) Focus on Gods kingdom and design instead my plans for that person.
What is God’s will for this person? How has he designed them? How
can I help them down that road?

2) Keep your advice founded in the Bible. From the Book outward instead
of the opposite of that. Most of the issues with historical and contemporary spiritual guidance comes when it is divorced from the heart of God in the Word of God.

3) Founded on care and concern. Love them with the concern of Christ. Care and concern will always (with the exception of intercessory prayer) translate into time spent together. So you must figure out how to make time for that person.

4) Have a listening ear. Eugene Peterson said, “Show up an then shut up.”
Let people express their hearts. Where they are at. Do not jump in. Wait
and see where they are coming from before you put in your .02. Give
them an opportunity to express themselves. Then pick your words wisely and
choose carefully what you are going to say.

5) Be humble. The people who walk with the Lord the longest and the
closest recognize their neediness for God the most. Lead with
humility not pride. When you are addressing them, do not forget that you have a plank in your own eye!

6) Lead with the premise that you are going to reproduce yourself
spiritually, whether good or bad. It is a great responsibility. Is our
own walk where we want it to be? People we disciple will take on many
of our characteristics. Things we do and say will show up in their
lives because we are encouraging them to walk down the road with us.

PLAN OR DIE

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Life is busy. Ministry life is even busier. Something I figured out in the first six months of being in pastoral ministry was that I was going to have to plan my week well, or die. And as my ministry load has steadily and dramatically increased over the years I’m more convinced than ever that having a “plan or die” mentality is essential to survival and effectiveness in the ministry. I’m so convinced of this that I not only plan out my schedule to the minute as much as possible every few months, but I also require all pastoral trainees at the church I lead to do the same in cooperation with their family when they start the training process. I figure it is better to learn early to plan by instruction than to figure it out through burnout and floundering ministry endeavors.

Below is a copy of one of my old daily schedules:

 

Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday
6-7AM: Morning Routine

 

7-8AM: Sermon Prep

 

8:30-2PM: Church

 

2:30- Evening: Family Time

 8-9AM:

Morning Routine

 

9AM-Evening:

Family Day/Daddy Date

 

 

 6-7AM: Morning Routine

 

7-7:30:

Exercise

 

7:30-8:15AM: Sermon Prep

 

8:15-6PM: Solitude

 

 

 

 

 

 6-7AM: Morning Routine

 

7-7:30AM: Worship/Prayer

 

7:30-8AM: Exercise

 

8:15- 10:15: Sermon Prep/Writing

 

10:15-11:45: Admin/Systems

 

12-1PM: Lunch

 

1-6PM: Leader Follow-up

 6-7AM: Morning Routine

 

7-7:30AM: Worship/Prayer

 

7:30-8AM: Exercise

 

8:15- 10:15: Sermon Prep/Writing

 

10:15-11:45: Admin/Systems

 

12-1PM: Lunch

 

1-4PM: Counseling Apps

 

4-6PM: Leadership Meeting/Fellowship

 

 

 6-7AM: Morning Routine

 

7-7:30AM: Worship/Prayer

 

7:30-8AM: Exercise

 

8:15- 10:15: Sermon Prep/Writing

 

10:15-11:45: Admin/Systems

 

12-1PM: Lunch

 

1-6PM: Counseling Apps

 

 7-8AM:

Morning Routine

 

8-10:

Family Time

 

10-12:

House Chores

 

12-1: Lunch

 

1-Evening:

Family Time

 

 

 

Some will look at that schedule and think I’m too loose with planning. Others will think I’m too extreme.

Here are a few benefits I’ve experienced from learning to plan my schedule this way:

 1. Stuff gets done

If I just try to swing at things “when I get around to it” I frequently find that I never really get around to it. I have to plan for the needed stuff to happen, or it won’t happen. But conversely, if most everything has a spot on the schedule, it gets done.

 2. I have more free time

That’s right, MORE free time. The counterintuitive thing I’ve learned about intensely detailed planning is that having a solid plan actually frees you instead of restricting you. The reason for this is that if I work on everything when I’m supposed to, for as long as I’m supposed to, I end up getting things done much quicker and more efficiently than I would if I did those same things when I felt I had a spare moment. For example, I have 7 hours and 45 minutes scheduled for sermon preparation time because that is an extremely important part of my job. But the reality is that it usually only takes me 2 to 4 hours to completely prepare for a sermon. So as I work diligently on my sermon during schedule times I end up getting it done, and the remaining sermon prep slots become free time to do other things. That is how detailed planning gives me more time instead of restricting me.

 3. My family is informed

The last benefit I’ll mention (though there are many more) is that planning this way blesses my family because it makes it easy for us to be on the same page day-to-day. Generally, my wife knows exactly what I’m doing and when I’m doing it if she wants. And my family knows that when dad’s working, he’s working. But they trust me with the busy times because they know I’m making scheduled times in which we invest in our family which are just for us a priority as well.

The truth is that our need/desire to plan comes from our being made in the image of God. Our God is an ordered God of planning. Jesus came to earth when “the fullness of time had come.”[1] God is not the author of confusion and chaos, but peace, rhythm, and harmony.[2] No wonder life is draining and unproductive when we approach it chaotically, without plan or intentionality. If you feel like you’re suffocating under the weight of responsibilities and lack of direction in what to do, that alarm in your mind might be the Holy Spirit exhorting you to plan or die.

[1] Gal. 4:4 NKJV

[2] 1 Cor. 14:33

Walking the Line

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So he shepherded them according to the integrity of his heart, and guided them with skillful hands. -Psalm 78:72

Sitting in seminary one afternoon, one of my professors shared a story that made a huge impact.  Class hadn’t started yet, or we were on a break or something, but the professor began to share that looking at the books in his home library was a humbling experience for him.  This pegged my interest and I began to listen intently wondering, “How in the world could looking at some books be a humbling experience?”  He continued to explain that many of his book were given to him by friends that dropped out of ministry over the course of years do to one moral failing or another.  Wow.  Powerful.  The books to him weren’t books, but scars (in some respect) of dear friends of his that didn’t make the distance.  He lesson to us was clear–if we were going to go the distance, we needed to a close watch on our hearts.

The above verse contains valuable lessons from the life of David.

Integrity of Heart.  God seems to care more about the inside of the leader than He does the fruit of his life.  Most men have the priorities backward.  Our hearts are slippery creatures that seem bent on evil.  How do we maintain our integrity of heart?  As as young believer I was blessed to be surrounded by men who were honest about their struggles and passionate about God.  Being surrounded by these men helped me understand that we can be passionate while imperfect.  In sharing struggles and shortfalls with these men helped me grow stronger in my walk with the Lord.  As I left the military and headed for the ministry, I have seen over time that isolation from true friends, or peers is a common pitfall.   In this last 7 years in the ministry I have found that it has been helpful to nurture relationships with fellow pastors.  I am thankful for these guys who are friends.  Guys I have freedom to share my struggles and successes with.  Through them I believe the integrity of my heart has been strengthened.

Skillful hands.  Preaching and teaching is an amazing calling that is a wonderful blessing.  I am grateful that I have been called to the ministry of the proclamation of the Word.  There is freedom here.  There are pitfalls.  We can become lazy in our preparation, but I believe God cares about the quality of our work of preaching and shepherding.  Preaching every week requires much time in preparation.  I have learned that it takes hard work to cut out time to work on my skill as a pastor.  We need to.  In recent months I have tried to increase my reading on preaching and pastoring in order to sharpen my skills.  I went to a pastor’s conference hosted by Alistair Begg in May to encourage and invigorate my passion for the ministry.

Integrity of heart and skill of hand are linked together.  We need to be diligent on both battle fronts.  I desire to go the distance in this marathon.

The Folly of Self Sufficiency

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“Better was a poor and wise youth than an old and foolish king who no longer knew how to take advice. For he went from prison to the throne, though in his own kingdom he had been born poor.” (Ecclesiastes 4:13, ESV)

In this proverb, the young guy who is nothing and who has nothing but wisdom is better than an old guy who has everything but can’t learn anything. The old king’s problem? He’d forgotten his own roots. He too had grown up poor, but now that he had power and influence, his dependent attitude went bye-bye, only to be replaced with prideful self sufficiency.

I almost laughed when I read about the old and foolish king. It reminded me of myself at times in my own ministry. During one particular season, I had lost the willingness to receive input from others, especially from those outside of our fellowship. I became somewhat isolated, and my relational circle drew ever tighter.

Early in the ministry, when I’d only been at it for about two years, I remember one seasoned CC pastor coming through our area as he traveled in his RV with his wife. He was essentially offering himself as a servant to a young pastor. Looking back, I wish I’d welcomed him with open arms, invited him to our home, allowed him to look at the church and what we were doing (and not doing), but I did not. Looking back, I realize I missed a huge opportunity to grow. I was too young and dumb to know that at the time. But now that I’m old and dumb I’ve been able to at least figure that out. I blew it.

It’s possible that in the fellowship of churches I’ve been involved with for 38 years that a similar thing has happened. Many Calvary Chapel pastors went from prison to the throne. Meaning, many were in deep trouble, the Lord rescued them when they had nothing and were nothing, but His anointing upon their lives has brought much “success,” as one might view it from the outside. It’s a dangerous place to be in. It’s easy to become like the old king who no longer knew how to take advice.

In my ministry with Poimen Ministries (a ministry that helps senior pastors in whatever ways they need and want it — www.poimenministries.com), I have seen how hard and risky a thing it can be for pastors to ask for input, and to receive it. Even when it’s safe.

I hope that I can be open as I continue to get older. And I also hope that my peers in ministry … older and younger … can be the same.

The only Person in the universe that can’t learn anything or doesn’t need to learn anything is God Himself. All of the rest of us are students until the day we die. Even then, there will still be learning in heaven.

The Minister and His Money

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If you want to make a bunch of pastors uncomfortable start to talk personal finances. Immediately the conversation will go to how little they are paid by their church or what major financial obstacle they are trying to overcome. It saddens me because what I have found is that pastors are some of the worst stewards of their own money. This has little to do with how much they get paid or what financial challenge they are facing but more to do with how they spend what they do have.

I am shocked at how many pastors still rent even though they have lived in the same city they are ministering for close to 20 years. I talked to one pastor who has moved 19 times in the 20 years he has been a pastor in his town. His excuse was that he couldn’t afford a home in his city. If you do the simple math and add up all the deposits he put down on all those rentals along with the costs to turn on and turn off utilities, not to mention the sheer cost of moving all of those times he would’ve had more than enough money for a good deposit on a home. Add to that conversation the fact that the typical pastor has the latest technological gadget, an impressive wardrobe, and fairly regularly frequents restaurants and entertainment and you start to see why so many pastors are in bad financial shape.

We are called to be good stewards of our money. That starts with not being afraid of money or mastered by it. We need to stop the excuses face the facts. Too many pastors have resigned themselves to the fact that they will never be able to get ahead and so they proceed to go and spend every dime (and then some) of expendable money they have on frivolous things. I am talking about more than just a starbucks addiction here. We’ve developed a lust for almost anything new.

Let me give you a few suggestions:

  1. Start in the Pulpit: Calvary Chapel pastors pride themselves on teaching verse by verse and only talk about money when it comes up in the scripture. I’ve heard this refrain since well before I joined on as a pastor. It comes from a reaction to the tele-evangelists of the early 1990’s always asking for money. Unfortunately when money does come up in scripture we spend a good deal of the sermon apologizing that it’s there. We make assurances that we don’t know who gives what and what they do with their money is between them and God. All of this is okay but there are people in the congregation who are dying to know what the Bible says about how They should use their money and we are not giving it to them. When the Word of God talks about money PREACH IT! Don’t be ashamed that the Bible tells us to give. Don’t be afraid to ask. Most of all do not worry about the finances of the people in the pews. We need to stop making excuses for how bad people have it. The Bible tells us that if we trust God with our money He will supply all of our needs and more.
  2. Stop Starving Yourself: 2 Timothy 2:6 says “It’s the hard working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops.” Pastor make sure that the church pays you. Stop sacrificing your family for everything else the church is doing. You are a priority for the church and need to stop taking a backseat to every whim and waffle. Your wife wants to know that the family is going to be secure and provided for. She is not asking for much, just that the basics needs to provided for. You should have the tough discussion with your elders that once all the basic expenses of the church are paid you come next. If your church is running short on that then I refer you back to step one.
  3. Stewardship Starts at Home: You have already read my diatribe above. Stop frivolously spending your money. How can you expect your church to have its house in order if yours isn’t. It goes beyond how you spend your money. Do you have plan, budget, or dream? Your money should be a servant to these not the other way around. When I started out I made $18,000 a year had $20,000 in school debt and a car payment. Owning a house wasn’t even a pipe dream. Then I got married and my wife had higher expectations for our family. We paid down our debt, saved up enough for a down payment, and bought a house by year four of our marriage. We were frugal (nice way of saying we didn’t spend any money) and we were faithful with our giving. God provided. Pastor get your financial house in order.

I know this is a lot and some of it vague but my heart hurts for those who are breaking under the pressure of finances. I recommend using Dave Ramsey’s Total Money Makeover. It’s the best book out there. Too many times in the stress and frustration of ministry we use spending money as an outlet of stress. Buying something or doing something that costs is shown to produce a chemical reaction in our brains. Problem is that feeling  goes away quickly and just like a drug we need more and more to produce the same effect. Don’t be mastered by your money. It is a neutral tool that God has given us to accomplish His purposes.

Pastoral Ministry Practice #3

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 In John 17:4 Jesus refers to the work He has already accomplished.

 I glorified You on the earth, having accomplished the work which You have given Me to do.

Suffering a sacrificial death and rising in power were not the only assignments given to Jesus.   In John 17:6-13 He lists out the work He accomplished before going to the cross.   These verses serve as an outline of the pastoral ministry of Jesus Christ.  These verses set before us the four essential practices of pastoral ministry.  What Jesus exampled in His ministry and reviews in prayer here before His Father are the essence of being a shepherd to the flock of God.

The first essential work of pastoral ministry is given in 17:6 – I manifested Your name to the men You gave Me out of the world.  The second essential work of pastoral ministry is given in 17:7-8 – I gave them Your words…

The third essential work of pastoral ministry is given in 17:9-11 – I ask on their behalf…keep them in Your name.

Pastors, you are to pray for those God has given you to care for.  For all of what Jesus says in vv9-11, He asks just one thing: …keep them in Your name… The word ‘keep’ means ‘to guard carefully…to keep one in the state in which he is’.   Paul tells us that we don’t always know what to pray for, but here’s something that’s on target every time.  You’ll never have to wonder if this is God’s will because it always is.  “Father, keep them in Your name”.  We pray so many things for so many people – things that can very well be peripheral to what God desires to do in someone’s life.  But when you pray this, “Father keep them in Your name”, you are always praying in the direct center of the will of God.  For when you pray this, you are asking that the ones you pray for be held at the place of power and promise and joy and peace and grace and mercy.  The name of God means all these things – and so much more.

Without the Name of God there is no ministry of God.  Jesus said that He revealed the Name of His Father to the disciples and now He prays that they be kept in that Name.

 The Name of God is the first thing and the continuing thing in the ministry.

Jesus doesn’t ask the Father that His disciples be good preachers and expositors of the Word.  As previously discussed, you can be a whiz kid with the Word of God and a bust with the Name of God.  You may have a ministry and it may flourish – for a time.  But a man’s character always catches up with him and is something that can’t be hidden.  Remember Balaam!

Jesus doesn’t ask for their success – buildings, budgets, and bodies.  He is more concerned with the character of the church than the size of the church.  He prays that their hearts would always be focused on the heart of God.  How easy it is to have your attention moved from the heart of God and begin to be dominated by thoughts of ministry success and personal reputation.  When the pastors and spiritual leaders of a church are no longer concerned with the Name of God they will begin to compromise the Word of God and any success they have had in ministry will begin to be reversed.  The dramatic plummet in numbers of the mainline denominational churches in America is an attestation to this truth.  A disregard for truth and of life lived in the Name will undercut your prayer life.  If you are not kept in His name, you won’t pray for others to be kept in His name.

Pray your vision

Please note that what Jesus valued gave shape and form to His prayer life.  His vision was for the name of God and His vision gave birth to His praying – Jesus prayed His vision.  What do you pray for?  What is the vision you have for your life and ministry?  Do an inventory of the things that you ask for in prayer.  Be aware of what it is you say and do during your time of devotion.  What you ask for in prayer defines your vision.  In a very real way, prayer gives expression to and the awareness of the will of God for you and those for whom you are praying.

Your prayers will rise no higher than your vision.

When we hear someone pray and they are asking that God use them in powerful ways to reach their city for Christ; that God would fill them with His Spirit and flow through them with His love; that He would heal the sick and save sinners; that the church would be strong in the name of Jesus – we know that we are listening to someone with a big vision and someone who understands and realizes what it is that God is seeking to do.

Many pastors say, “That is my vision, too”.  But to listen to them pray, you wouldn’t know this.  They pray for their Aunt Sally in Minnesota and they ask God to bless this missionary in Brazil.  They ask that the church potluck be successful and that this week’s offering be large enough to take care of the bills that are currently due.  There is a difference between this kind of prayer and the prayer that Jesus modeled for us in John 17.

This man prayed his needs; Jesus prayed His vision.

Let me restate that: the pastor prayed his needs and Jesus prayed His vision.  Do you pray your needs and the needs of those around you or do you pray your vision?  Do your needs or your vision dominate your prayer life?  Obviously, there is a time to pray for needs – and there is a time to press your vision in prayer before the Lord.  Your prayers will rise no higher than your vision.

Paul prays his vision

The high priest bore on His breastplate the names of the children of Israel  – they were upon his heart whenever he went into the holy place. He also wore the names of the children of Israel on the shoulders of the ephod, engraved in stones, and worn as he went about his priestly ministry in the tabernacle (cf. Ex. 28:12, 29).  They were upon his heart as indicating the affection of God for them, and upon his shoulders, the place of strength, to illustrate his power in the support of them.  Like the high priest, the pastor bears upon his heart and his shoulders the people he pastors.  Paul gives us a pattern of how to pray for those we bear upon our hearts and shoulders.   We have clear insight into how Paul prayed in the book of Ephesians, chapters one and three.

For this reason I too, having heard of the faith in the Lord Jesus which exists among you and your love for all the saints, do not cease giving thanks for you, while making mention of you in my prayers; that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might which He brought about in Christ, when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all rule and authority and power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in the one to come. And He put all things in subjection under His feet, and gave Him as head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all.  Eph. 1:15-23

What is he praying for?  What does he want to see come to pass in the life of those for whom he prays?  Note the ‘so that’ in v18 – So that…

#1  You will know what is the hope of His calling

#2  You will know what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints

#3  You will know what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe

His vision for the church is that we be dialed in to God’s dream for us and the power available to bring to pass His purposes.  His vision for the church is not just that we go out and ‘do’ ministry, but that we would understand and recognize (know) of all the resources in God that are provision for us.  That is His vision.  Here is his prayer:

…that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened…

Paul prays for wisdom and revelation and enlightenment.  These aren’t part of his intercession just because they sound mystical and spiritual.  These dynamics of spiritual life are his prayer because they relate directly to his vision of what the church should be.  Even as the high priest bore upon his chest and shoulders the names of the children of Israel, even as Jesus is praying for us – bringing us before His Father – so we have the great privilege and responsibility of bearing on our chests and shoulders those for whom the Lord has given us responsibility for.  The church is in our hearts and weighs upon our shoulders – we are to bring these before the Lord in intercession and seek that God be glorified in them.  Whatever else we pray, let’s pray that they may be kept in the name of God.

Does it matter?

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In the last 5 years or so I’ve been intrigued by the research done by groups such as Barna, Pew, Gallup and others. While statistical analysis is not 100% accurate it is interesting to consider what the numbers say about the views and values of our nation. Such data is especially interesting when studies are repeated year over year for a decade ore more. Earlier this month Pew Research released the findings of their “Trends in American Values” study; a survey which they’ve conducted and expanded for the last 25 years. Although I’ve only skimmed the overview and have not read the full 164 page report, the trends are interesting, to say the least; and particularly so for the Church. For instance, on page 5 of the overview we read.

Republicans and Democrats are furthest apart in their opinions about the social safety net. There are partisan differences of 35 points or more in opinions about the government’s responsibility to care for the poor, whether the government should help more needy people if it means adding to the debt and whether the government should guarantee all citizens enough to eat and a place to sleep.

[…]

Just 40% of Republicans agree that “It is the responsibility of the government to take care of people who can’t take care of themselves,” down 18 points since 2007. In three surveys during the George W. Bush administration, no fewer than half of Republicans said the government had a responsibility to care for those unable to care for themselves. In 1987, during the Ronald Reagan’s second term, 62% expressed this view.

Later the report reveals Republican and Democrat value shifts graphically.

[divider_line]

 

Is this an issue?  Does it matter? I think is and does.

In chapter 2 of his book “Preaching & Preachers” Dr. Martin Lloyd-Jones writes briefly of early 20th century British church history.  He cites the rise of a “social gospel” in Western countries prior to the First World War and explains that the same was happening in America at the time of His lecture series, which ultimately became the book “Preaching & Preachers.” Lloyd-Jones’ purpose in doing so was to highlight the importance of keeping the preaching of the gospel central to the work of the church.  He argues that this “social gospel” was “largely responsible for emptying the churches in Great Britain.” I do not question Lloyd-Jones’ assertion, nor do I disagree that preaching should remain primary within the Church.  The social concerns that Lloyd-Jones addresses are ones of ethics and morality, which he rightly argues are nothing without godliness; his points are actually well made .  My concern however, which I believe is represented in the above data from Pew Research, is that American Evangelical Christianity in the last half century, or more, has neglected its social responsibility.  This shift is certainly not because of Lloyd-Jones, but rather a position that seems to say “the purpose of the church is preaching, and we should vacate the social sphere.”

Yes, the proclamation of the gospel is the central work of the Church.  It is essential that we “Go into all the world and preach the gospel” (Mark 16:15).  But are there not aspects of the gospel that require the activity of the Church in the sphere of social issues?  Throughout it’s history, the Church has been the body which addressed humanity’s social ills.  Health and welfare are the responsibility of the body of Christ.  Be that as it may, somewhere in the middle of the last century, the American Evangelical Church withdrew from that sphere, leaving a vacuum.  Since nature abhors a vacuum, someone or something had to fill it.  Enter the Government.  What once was the ground held by the church is now occupied by federal, state and local government agencies.  What once was provided for by the loving charity of God’s People is now—out of necessity—funded by ever increasing taxation.  So, it is no surprise that Republicans, who are far more “religious” than Democrats, and who count themselves “socially conservative” would agree that It is not the responsibility of the government to take care of people who can’t take care of themselves, or meet the needs of the poor.  My question is, are we, the Church, ready to move back into the sphere that is rightfully ours and gladly meet the needs of others via our loving, compassionate charity?  What good is social conservatism’s push for prayer in schools and the Ten Commandments back in the public arena, if we’re unwilling to practically display the love of Christ through gospel demonstration?

To political pundits like Sean Hannity, Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage,  “Social Justice” is a catchphrase for Communism.  But it is elementary in Christianity that “I am my brother’s keeper.”

The Dark Side of Church Planting

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I have been a strong advocate of church planting as long as I have been in the ministry. And I still believe very much in church planting. I have heard it said that the key to the spread of the gospel is new churches. I dispute that. The key to the spread of the gospel is the Spirit working through the church. New and local congregations should be part of the universal church. God did not ordain new churches. He ordained THE church that is meant to spread virally like yeast in flour. With this reality in place, church planting has become very very sexy amongst Evangelicals in the recent seven or eight years. This is not a bad thing either. But like all things, there exists a shadow side. As a three time church planter (and someone who has coached and counseled literally hundreds of church planters), I wanted to spend some time exploring that dark side.

It’s not a church plant, it is a church transfer

This, to me, is the largest dark side to the current obsession with church planting. Statistically, church are being planted with rapidity but the number of Christians are declining in the West. What that means, simply, is that many church plants are really church transfers. A new congregation is birthed but with existing members moving from another church. So one church begins by the pillaging of another. This is not a bad thing when that is an intentional mitosis model of the existing church (multiplication by subtraction). But usually it is not the plan of the existing church. Instead it is imposed on the existing church by a new congregation that subverts the existing church. This problem is also exacerbated by our Western success models. A church plant is ‘successful’ if there is x number of people there. So for a church plant to be deemed successful, they need bodies in the building, no matter where they came from. So I have always advocated that the best way to discern the fruitfulness of a church plant is by baptisms, not by Sunday attendance. So if a church has 30 people in the end of the first year and did 20 baptisms, to me that is a realistic church plant. If a church has 500 people at the end of the first year and did 50 baptisms, then that is a church transfer in my estimation. I always tell church planters this, “Seek and save the lost and throw back the already saved.” By the way, the “market share” of those outside Christ far exceeds those inside.

Not All church plants are alike

In trying to understand the impact of a church plant, we have to look at the circumstances in which it was birthed. Some church plants I like to call ‘trust fund’ church plants. Like a person with a trust fund, their work is fully bankrolled by a large sending organization (both finances and people). Another type of church plant is a “you against the world” church plant where it is a single individual just doing it without any help. Neither one of these ways (or any of the shades in between) are better, worse, more spiritual or less, but they are different and should be viewed differently. In a culture that finds its value by understanding itself in relation to another, this creates a pretty toxic environment. If a church just moved 100 people in an area from elsewhere and have 150 people at it, is it really more mightily used by God than a church that began with one family and has 40 people? In our culture, the church planter with 150 is considered a success and the planter with 40 is just another church planter. Do you see the rub there?

The church split plant

This is all too common and truly sad. This is the church plant that is really a split off of another church (usually led by a disgruntled ex-pastor, missionary or popular volunteer). This plant is within about 30 minutes of the host church and is fueled solely by the disgruntledness against the host church. It is never characterized this way though (until after some time when honesty prevails). It is always characterized in the most spiritual of terms, God’s calling, seeking to disciple differently then they see around. When I have talked with church planters contemplating this, I always say the same thing. “Don’t be THAT guy.” You see, once you are that guy, you carry that with you for the rest of your ministry.

In conclusion, our goal should always be the glory of God in the people of God by the Spirit of God. Church planting should not be a competition nor some sort of carnal badge of honor. It is the calling of God for us to be in His army in the way in which He desires. As churches continue to be planted, let us make sure that we do it with the strength that God supplies that in all things he will get the glory in Christ Jesus.

The Lie of the “Good Girl”

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“She’s too innocent . . . she doesn’t do that. I don’t think she even knows what that is.”

“She’s a good girl and that’s not like her to do that.”

I believe these can be some of the most harmful words overheard by young girls. I was that oh-so-put-together, organized, on every academic team in school, over achiever, got good grades girl. I overheard as others labeled me by saying things like, “She’s so mature.” “She knows that’s wrong, so she won’t do that.” “Look at that godly girl and everything she’s balancing in her life.” “She doesn’t struggle with that.”

Again, these were some of the worst things for me to have heard growing up and in high school. Since I knew others didn’t recognize me as the struggling sinner that I was, trying to figure out this life and what it means to be sanctified and justified by Christ’s blood, I was not able to be open and honest with my struggles, and seek the help I needed. I was overburdened with my sin: sexual temptation and lust of the mind. I was everything but mature in my walk with Christ, put together, being sanctified, and seeking after God, and hearing that people thought highly of me only added to the façade I had to keep up, and the guilt and shame I was carrying. I was identifying myself more with the list of those who won’t inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) than I was with Jesus and my new life in Him.

God designed a girl’s heart, mind, and body to be protected and pure. When she hears others talking about how well she’s doing at that, even though they are really only referring to the outside, then her only fleshly worry is keeping up with appearances, despite addictions hiding in the closet, in old relationships, on her computer, on her bookshelf, or in any other area of life where idolatry is an issue. It doesn’t matter how filthy her eyes are from the porn she’s watching but can’t tell anyone about, or how disgusting she feels from the boys she’s blamed herself for sleeping with, or how unclean her mind and thoughts are from the unstoppable, lustful thoughts she has, or how broken hearted she is from male after male that can’t fulfill her in her life. Her flesh craves to maintain the perfect image that has been being portrayed to others, despite the common knowledge provided from the Bible that all have sinned and fallen short of God’s level of perfection (Romans 3:23).

I feel like sexual sin is also harder for girls to admit to because of this idea of them always being pristine and holy. In an article on helping women with addictions, author Rob Jackson put is very well when he said, “Female addicts often suffer a greater social stigma and inner shame than do male addicts. Society promotes the stereotypes of ‘boys will be boys’ and “’good girls don’t,’”[1]. The Bible tells us that there is neither male nor female before the Lord (Galatians 3:28), so there is no sin common to just man, or just women (1 Corinthians 10:13). Sin is a human struggle, and a girl is going to feel even guiltier when she’s struggling with something that no other girl seems to admit to struggling with. I saw this in my experience, but I also see it the more and more I talk with girls who are willing to be open about their struggles, and the more I see this as being a barrier to their honesty about their struggles, and their willingness to seek help.

So, how do we fix this problem? Parents, I think it starts with you and your most powerful tool: the gospel. The parents in the church youth group where I serve are no longer surprised to hear me tell them, “Don’t be surprised that your children are sinners.” The shock parents sometimes exert to their children for not upholding Jesus’ level of perfection only breeds more hypocrites into the church. Let your kids be real with you and don’t shame them for their struggles with sin. When your children are sharing their sins and struggles with you, you should view that as a God ordained opportunity for you to actively share the gospel with them, through your words and actions. Shame is not the gospel. There is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1), so don’t be a tool in the enemy’s hand to burden your kids with more guilt. Share with them the freedom found in Christ’s love displayed for us on the cross. Their sin is horrific, bad, ugly, and it’s why Jesus had to die, but He also rose again to defeat sin, so that your children can be sanctified in Christ, having access to God’s power living in them, to help them have victory over their sins.

We also need to be warned and aware that girls do actually struggle with porn.  It may start in a more subtle way with women. Virtually every young adult novel these days includes very explicit sex scenes, which is nothing but straight up porn, or erotic literature. In a recent article in the Wall Street Journal which shares about the rise in women reading erotica on EReaders due to its easy access, one reader admitted that, “. . . the digital format helped her get over the embarrassment[2].” The Bible says to think on things that are pure and lovely (Philippians 4:8), and I know from experience that reading those things only add to the embarrassment and weight of sin, and the lustful, evil thoughts. It is not lovely and pure to gaze into a fictional vampire’s love life, I don’t care if they waited until they were married. It’s not lovely and pure to worship and idolize the marriage relationship between two characters in your book, even if it has the genre title “Christian fiction” on the side of it. It is not lovely and pure to read pornographic literature, even if nobody else knows that’s what you’re doing because they can’t see the book cover on your new EReader. It’s only lovely to worship the one true God.

The more I talk to girls about the dangers of reading literature that is not only too mature for their age, but also downright pornographic and sinful, the more girls I am finding who admit to struggling with this. For some reason this form of pornography is more tolerated than visual pornography, which girls struggle with as well. Parents need to be aware of this and closely monitor what their young girls are reading. And older girls and women, you need to take it upon yourself to decide if what you’re reading leads to pure and lovely thoughts, or if it feeds your flesh with lustful, adulterous, disgusting thoughts. You need to be able to recognize your responsibility to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called (Ephesians 4:1), in Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.

About the Author

Lexy Sauvé grew up on C.S. Lewis, Shakespeare, and Hans Christian Anderson, pursuing her love of literature and writing since kindergarten. Her love of poetry grew through middle school and is still her genre of choice. Lexy rededicated her life to Christ at the age of 13, and has since been growing to understand and walk in the ministry of reconciliation that she has been entrusted with. In the summer of 2011 she married her high school lovebird, whom she occasionally collaborates with artistically. They enjoy reading, espresso, and old book shops together. In 2012 she graduated from Weber State University, in Ogden, Utah, with a degree in Creative Writing.

Lexy also has some background in journalism. She wrote for Weber State’s newspaper, The Signpost, in the area of Arts and Entertainment, as well as serving as a student editor of poetry for their literary magazine, The Metaphor. She is currently working with Calvary Chapel Magazine, as well as pursuing side projects in editing, publishing, and teaching workshops.

 

[1] Pure Intimacy.org, 2004, “Help for Female Sex Addicts,” http://www.pureintimacy.org/piArticles/A000000574.cfm

[2] “Books Women Read When No One Can See the Cover,” Katherine Rosman, March 12, 2012, The Wall Street Journal

The Modern Pastor

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May and June have been an interesting months for me.  I apologize for my absence in posting,  but we ended up buying a new house and moving on May 5.  The was a blessing, but a bit overwhelming at the same time.  It wasn’t scheduled and this presented a problem because May was already booked with a conference in Cleavland at Alistair Begg’s church, a wedding in San Luis Obispo, and my Spanish pastor had a heart attack resulting in a 5-way bypass (he is okay). Did I mention that my wife is about 36 weeks pregnant?  Minor detail. Oh well, we would push through this busy month trying to rest in Him while pushing with all our might.

In the midst of this craziness, my wife and I discussed the idea of not setting up the Internet at our house until June 1.  We thought the idea of unplugging would be a great spiritual fast.  The only question we had was, “Could we survive such an extreme fast?”  I of course created a bunch of disclaimers such as: my iPhone was okay to use (but the reception is HORRIBLE at my new house) and we could still use the internet off site as I need to receive and send emails, etc, etc.  This was very inconvenient given my setting and that my office is at my house.

The first few days were very rough.  I came down with a bug and I literally felt like unplugging was making me physically sick.  I doubt it.  I’m sure it was just stress.  Through this month I was struck with how much pastoring I do through the Internet and other nontraditional methods like sending text messages.  I was sort of shocked to hear people say they felt disconnected from me and the church after about a week without Internet in my home.  I am sure this is accentuated because I don’t keep office hours and do most of my admin/study time from my home office.  But as I finish have finished my fast, I have come to conclude there are some very positive ways in which we can pastor–that come with very real pitfalls.

In many ways, I feel like the apostle Paul was one of the greatest pastors.  The epistles reveal his great heart for the people he shepherded.  He wrote letters.  Sent greeting through people.  And of course ministered face-to-face.  He had no email, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, blog, text message plan, Skype, and certainly the great Cross Connection Blog did not exist then.  Does that mean he would not utilize these inventions?  I doubt it.

Positive Elements…

Texting, Facebook, and emailing are very quick and easy ways to connect with people.  I often send out blast through whatever medium is most convenient for the recipient.  As people come to mind, I try to say a prayer for them.  I will often follow up the prayer with text, note on Facebook, or an email saying that I appreciate them, am praying for them, and ask them how they are doing.  I haven’t formulated any method to my madness, but have done this more as the Spirit leads.

Facebook is an interesting tool as you are able to read about people and how they are doing.  I have noticed that Facebook has become a method for tracking people’s highs and lows.  I don’t always catch everything, but I do appreciate that when something is worthy of following up on I am often notified by a third party that I should check in with the person in question.

Skype.  The main way I used Skype is for keeping up with missionaries.  I am blessed to serve at a body that support me in traveling to visit with our missionaries for the sole purpose of encouraging them.  Through these trips, my relationship with them has deepened.  While away from them, I have found that Skype is an AMAZING tool for having a heart-to-heart conversation with someone around the world.

Pit Falls…

I believe the greatest pitfalls in the new technology is that they have the propensity to replace face-to-face people time to pseudo relationships through social media and text messaging.  I believe this is sort of a shift within society which makes finding the sweet-spot a little tricky.

Another problem is that between computer and smart phone these mediums can be very habit forming and can disrupt some of the most intimate relationship we have–our families.  I have heard more than one pastor’s wife complain about the invasion of the iPhone into their family.  We must guard ourselves from the additive trap of our smart phones.

All in all, I am thankful for the resources we have through technology.  The ease of communication has raced forward in the last twenty years.  We have the ability to “ping” many people throughout the day to stay in people’s lives.  But the reality is that the blessing comes with a curse.  We can have many shallow relationships that lack depth as a result.  If anything, this last month reminded me to unplug daily, to read more, to focus on building real relationships while simultaneously really appreciating how easily I am able to connect with my people through these various mediums.